At Tuesday's MLB All-Star game (that's baseball folks) not only did Barack Obama throw the opening pitch, but nine time Grammy award winner Sheryl Crow sang a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. So who pray tell was on hand to represent the true north during Oh Canada you ask? NO ONE! It was a freaking canned karaoke track! To this I say the following:
Dear America,
We know that you feel that baseball is "your sport", but please don't forget that two nations compose the major leagues teams. Next year, at the very least, we will expect you to fly in KD Lang, Anne Murray or even a Canadian Idol finalist to belt out our tune. Or better yet, why not have whichever bombshell that you are paying thousands of dollars to sing both songs? We know it's a challenge to learn all those new words, but as long as you don't have one of the Simpson sisters do it everything should be fine. On second thought, why don't you get Ashlee to pre-record it and perform one of her now rousing lip syncing jig routines? We won't even complain if FOX edits it out of the broadcast as usual—it's the thought that counts after all.
Sincerely, Your Devoted Neighbour (yes we spell it with a u up here),
Canada
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